When did we stopped dreaming?

When I was a child, I used to stare at fantasy and sci-fi drawings for long times, imagining full stories in my head. Each Magic TG card I had had it's own lore on it, each Dungeons & Dragons picture was amazing, each small story told between the rules of any boardgame bloomed to full adventures...

I also read a lot when I was young. Having a father whose job was writing film critics I of course love watching movies too, but reading... reading has always been special for me. No matter how detailed the descriptions are in a book, you always have to shape in your mind the physical appearance of all characters, to fill all gaps with your own touches, making the story a bit yours too.
I always chose to go to bed and read instead of watching TV and used to read a lot of books from quite varied topics (not only fantasy).

I spent many afternoons with friends laying out in the grass in a park or a field, chatting about how we were going to become superstars, change the world, end most of its problems... Everything looked so easy to either accomplish or solve.

I dreamed a lot, both at night while sleeping and day, just going somewhere in the bus.

Now we've grown up. I'm at my 30s, and I see the world quite differently.

I watch a lot of movies and play videogames but read less.

I no longer think I can change the world so much. I can help with money at NGOs, but to make huge impacts either I have an awesome idea (still hasn't happened) or I become a politician which I dislike based on the many spanish corrupt examples ;)

I no longer feel I can do anything or become anything. Sure, I think I can be a good software developer, but I'm neither made to be a "superstar" nor I wish to get more attention than that from my friends and colleages. I won't be a John Carmack for sure.

I no longer dream so much, or at least I cannot remember most of my dreams. And when I stare at a drawing for more than a few seconds, I frequently get nervous due to start thinking about pending things to do.

Probably all of this happened because many of us decide to kill that child we were to become adults and appear to have great lives at social networks.

Me... I think I'm devolving, rolling back as if I had some sort of Peter Pan disease.

I am trying hard to spend more time talking with the people I enjoy being with instead of just using social networks, trying to read more books, to retake creative hobbies instead of just read and think about work-related stuff, to enjoy a beautiful landscape instead of thinking which Instagram filter to apply to it...

I am trying to dream again as much as possible, both asleep and awake.

Which doesn't mean I am not reading development-related stuff. I actually feel more creative and do more small problem solvings or think about some algorithms while walking alone, I've regained appetite of building small pet projects, and in general my "coding karma" is better as a consequence.

Comments?

Posted by Kartones on 2013-08-04